Maids, Friends and Favours
by Scarlet Secret
Summary: After her terrible fall Cora visits O'Brien in the night because there is no one else. *** Not slash for once *** Birthday present for Lady Grantham.


A/N: A birthday present for Lady Grantham, my favouritest co-writer and flatmate ever! Hehehehe!

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><p><strong>Maids, Friends and Favours<strong>

Cora stumbled through the empty house, never having appreciated before quite how long her nightgowns were. She'd only ever been obliged to walk a few paces across the room in the article before - except for that one, terrible night, but stumbling had been the least of her worries then – however, now it seemed her brain could focus on nothing but the dreadful prospect of falling.

It had been two days. Two horrible days in which she'd been consoled by everyone and Cousin Isobel and Matthew had deemed enough time having passed to pay their respects too. The thanks she was obliged to give all her well-wishers died in her throat. The very thought of the words dried her mouth and lead to coughing, which only made them all look more concerned. Honestly! Did they think she was an _invalid?_

She'd been uprooted from her home and family and come to a foreign country where she was unwelcome and resented by many in society and she'd had three children within five years and lived to tell the tale for god's sake. _And_ she'd been mistress of this house for two decades now, dealing with anyone who came through the door and the Dowager Countess – she was far from helpless!

She tripped over the hem of her gown but managed to right herself immediately. She stood completely still for a long, agonising minute during which she listened for any other noise – she most definitely did _not_ want to be caught wondering the corridors at this time of night. They all thought she was so weak already, if they saw her in her nightdress they'd start to think she was going mad like Lady Macbeth! She lifted her skirt slightly and continued onwards, heading towards the servants staircase. She was reluctant to wake O'Brien really, but she needed someone to talk to in the dead of night and she had already come this far – she would certainly no turn back now!

The staircase seemed insurmountable for a moment. It had been many, _many_ years since she'd explored this part of the house and then she had been young and fit. Now she was middle-aged and still recovering from an accident that might have killed her and the thought of traipsing up the stairs that in the darkness seemed to have no ending, made her stomach fall.

This was ridiculous! She was acting like a child and should just get back to her bed and stop being so silly. But then…her bed was lonely and cold and Robert had barely _looked_ at her since ithad happened.

Mrs Hughes managed this staircase several times a day and she was older than Cora and with that thought the Countess started climbing. She chose not to add to this logic that Mrs Hughes, despite being a few years older, was also in _considerably_ better physical condition and could have run up and down the staircase twice in the time it was going to take Cora to walk up it once. But she made it eventually, breathing heavily but with no long lasting effects and she made a mental note to do a great deal more walking in future. It couldn't hurt.

She crept along the corridor slowly. It had been many years but she knew where she was going: when she had first arrived at Downton her exploration of the whole house had taken her to the female servant quarters and the younger Cora had walked right into the previous housekeeper. Mrs Cartwright had held nearly as much terror for the young bride as the lady's maid she had been given, a horrifying woman who had seemed ancient to the young Cora but had probably been no older than thirty-five, younger than O'Brien was now. Cora had hated her though and it had taken her a long time to find a maid she wanted to keep. She rolled her eyes as she thought of Robert's on-going wish to get rid of O'Brien. If she had been unwilling before he had a surprise on his hands if he tried to do it now – after O'Brien had all but saved her life after the fall the poor woman had not left her side, even during the grisly experience Cora had been obliged to endure to get the child out of her body.

She had sobbed and shrieked at the foreign feeling, the sort of discomfort she had not felt in decades now and through every second O'Brien had remained, clinging to her hand, supporting her body and holding her close afterwards. The fall had been bad, the worst shock she'd ever had in her life but the despair and the utter numbness she'd felt delivering a tiny child she had not been able to look at herself was incomparable.

She had _thought_ about looking for a second. But O'Brien looked first and her usually pale maid went the colour of chalk and Cora's bravery had fallen. Instead she'd buried her face in O'Brien's shoulder whilst the woman mopped at her clammy brow with a handkerchief. She wondered if any lady's maid had ever been so loyal before and whether it was par on course for women in her position to have a servant that would do that for them without question or complaint, or whether she really was blessed to have Sarah O'Brien. She suspected it was the latter and it was primarily for this reason that she was now so close to O'Brien's door.

She walked silently past other doors. One she thought belonged to Mrs Patmore going by the snores coming from inside, another she knew had once been the bedroom of Mrs Cartwright and she assumed now belonged to Mrs Hughes. She tiptoed past this one. It wasn't that she was _frightened_ of Mrs Hughes but she still wasn't over keen on the idea of being caught out by the older woman – she was rather intimidating. She reached the next door down – this one was surely O'Brien's. It had certainly belonged to the previous lady's maids and was far too big to belong to any of the housemaids.

She considered knocking but surely that would rouse the whole landing? The servants were probably light sleepers and she didn't want to explain herself to any of them. Biting her lip Cora gently turned the door handle and slipped inside the room.

"O'Brien," she whispered, half-worrying about disturbing the woman but aware that she was behaving a little foolishly. She _intended_to wake the woman anyway didn't she? Silently she closed the door behind her, feeling distinctly like she was intruding upon O'Brien's personal space, but not wanting to leave the door open. She didn't want Mrs Hughes appearing like a phantom and knowing that she was pathetic enough to sneak into her maid's room in the middle of the night because she literally had no one else to talk to.

Cora moved towards the bed and, as her eyes adjusted to the darkness lit only by the moon coming through the small window, observed O'Brien in her bed. The bed was smaller than her own of course, but O'Brien still looked small in it, covered in heaps on blankets and only the side of her face visible amongst pillow, covers and tumbling curls. Cora smiled fondly and sat delicately on the edge of the bed, trying desperately not to jostle the bed too much.

She reached out a hand and tentatively laid it on the place in the bed she assumed O'Brien's shoulder was before gently shaking her in an attempt to rouse her. She did not have to wait long and, whether from instinctive knowledge of when her mistress needed her, or from being a naturally light sleeper, O'Brien's eyes soon opened and Cora could see the whites of them reflected in creamy moonlight.

O'Brien tried to sit up, immediately thinking the worse. Cora had _never _come to her in the middle of the night before and the possible reasons did not bode well, but Cora pushed down slightly on her shoulder, not allowing her to move.

"Don't get up O'Brien, I'm so sorry for disturbing you like this but..."

But what? She was so desperately lonely that she had to sneak into her maid's bedroom whilst the poor woman should have been enjoying a thoroughly deserved rest after running around after her all day.

"I hoped you wouldn't mind," she ended lamely, feeling utterly terrible for disturbing O'Brien and not even having anything to say about it. Her maid blinked a few times, no doubt assessing whether she was dreaming and finally spoke, the traces of sleep still in her voice slightly.

"I don't mind m'lady. What was it you wanted m'lady?"

Cora sighed. She wasn't sure at all what she wanted from anyone, least of all O'Brien who had already done so much for her. But she knew there was something. Something missing amongst everyone else's sorrow and sympathy that she had only felt briefly when O'Brien was around. The poor woman had been all but tip-toeing around her bed and helped to prop her up in the morning and stayed with her all day on that first terrible day when she hadn't been able – hadn't _wanted_ – to get up. And so she had sought out her maid in search of the elusive feeling she had experienced amidst her crippling grief that had made it slightly better.

"I…I don't know O'Brien. You've done so much already."

She didn't have much strength left and when O'Brien made a second, more alert attempt to sit up she was unable to push the woman back down. Instead O'Brien had shuffled her legs aside and for a moment Cora thought she was going to get up, but no, she was simply creating more space for Cora to sit in. Her heart swelled with affection – everyone deserved someone as considerate as Sarah O'Brien in their lives but Cora was damned if she was going to share her with anyone. Even Rosamund wasn't allowed to commandeer her maid anymore, Cora would definitely see to it at the garden party that her sister-in-law, for all that she loved her, was no longer going to be getting a free lady's maid everytime she came to Downton. It was about time she hired one of her own again anyway. Although the rumours around town about how Lady Rosamund Painswick treated her staff did tend to leave the redhead with trouble filling certain positions, but Cora was adamant that Rosamund would just have to lump it this time. Sarah had done enough.

Cora took a deep breath and tried to explain herself.

"His lordship-Robert decided to sleep in his own room tonight," she didn't bother with the pretence that this was always the case, after all few people were probably as aware of their sleeping arrangements as O'Brien was. "I think he's under the impression I want to be left alone."

She wasn't sure, the moonlight wasn't a perfect source of illumination after all, but she thought she saw O'Brien roll her eyes slightly.

"Or he can't stand to be near me anymore…"

"M'lady, I'm sure 'e's just grieving 'imself."

"He won't even touch me. And I can't blame him really."

Without a second's hesitation O'Brien's hand was covering her own and squeezing gently. It was the first time her maid had ever been so bold; Cora had taken her hand before now but she knew enough about the rules between master and servant to know that O'Brien's action was extremely unprecedented. She found she didn't care and instead she took comfort from the gesture – so simple and if it had been Rosamund Cora would not have thought twice about it, but here was O'Brien breaking the rules enforced on her just to comfort her foolish mistress.

"It wasn't your fault m'lady. I wish I could make you believe it."

They'd had this conversation several times by now. Cora grieved and could not be moved no matter how many times O'Brien said the words she needed to hear a thousand times more before she could ever contemplate believing them. But O'Brien hadn't stopped trying and Cora knew, with the same certainty that had told her one day Robert Crawley would marry her and also that her youngest born was going to be the apple of her Papa's eye, that she would never stop trying.

"Robert will never believe it." She managed a wistful smile. It cost her a lot and never occurred to her that O'Brien might never see it.

"Would…" O'Brien was tentative now, quite different to the woman that had taken her hand with such forthrightness. "Would you like _me _to speak to 'is lordship m'lady?"

Cora stared at her maid without expression, behind her eyes though a torrent of thoughts erupted. Her immediate reaction, which she quashed with anger at her own lingering snobbishness, was to chastise her maid for daring to think of speaking to Lord Grantham about a matter that did not concern her at all. But Cora knew it would be wrong and she didn't really feel it. Quite apart from anything it most certainly _did_ involve O'Brien, but her heart was warmed by the implications of O'Brien's words. Speaking to Robert about this was not the role of a servant, it was the role of a friend, the sort of thing Rosamund might do. But Lady Rosamund Painswick could speak to her brother however she pleased and have nothing but the mildest emotional investment in the outcome. Cora nearly cried to think that Sarah O'Brien, if she was asked to, would purposefully put her job on the line just for Cora's sake.

It almost sickened her. The things she could ask this woman to do if the mood took her – all requests that would be done she was sure of this – were worrying. O'Brien had already been by her side so constantly for a decade now, had seen her through some of her worst moments, had known the right words to say when her beloved Papa had died so suddenly, had bundled her up immediately after the fall, had attempted the impossible and tried to console her during the most agonising and devastating birth she could imagine. And Cora could still ask more and it would be done. O'Brien would risk her very livelihood, her own security in life, all for her.

"No, I can't ask that of you-"

"I wouldn't mind m'lady."

"I know you wouldn't Sarah, but I cannot ask it. And I won't let you. You've done _more _than enough."

She turned her hand over underneath O'Brien's and linked their fingers together. She felt like a child again, desperately clinging on to her Mama's hand as they walked through the streets on New York: streets that had felt so massive to Cora when she was small, but streets that couldn't possibly hold any fear for her now.

"And I don't think Robert would stand a chance against you."

She made sure to put all the affection she felt into her voice but found it was not a difficult task. She somehow felt rather than saw O'Brien smiling slightly and the small respite from the horrific _guilt_ seemed to come upon her once again. However O'Brien's simple presence was achieving this she would never know and she didn't think to ask, all Cora was sure of was she didn't intend to leave the other woman if she could – she needed the rest or else she might go mad. She hadn't been sleeping and the tiredness hit her suddenly with all the force of a freight train and she felt her eyes droop unbidden. She wanted to sleep suddenly, here, where she felt like she wasn't the cause of the entire family being grief-stricken and she hadn't destroyed everyone's hopes for the future.

"Could I ask a favour of you?"

It took a moment for O'Brien respond but eventually she did with a nod. Cora furrowed her brow slightly, not in annoyance, but concern.

"You're very quiet…Is everything alright?"

"Sorry m'lady, I don't mean to be. It's just- You called me Sarah, m'lady."

It hadn't even registered. The name had slipped from her lips so easily and Cora hadn't noticed the use of it, calling her maid Sarah seemed quite natural – an intimate change between them, but one that if possible, made Cora feel slightly worse. It was a slip that meant so little to her really. What did it matter to her what she called her servant? She certainly felt closer to the _friend_ Sarah that would go and argue with Robert if prompted to than she had to the maid O'Brien, who'd still been indispensible, if occasionally insolent. But the difference between the two women was small, she knew there was a line between her and Sarah that was greater than the one keeping her back from O'Brien. The easier line was where Cora preferred to stay, even now. But it was suddenly clear exactly what the change meant to O'Brien and Cora knew what she had been proudly telling Violet and Rosamund all these years with arrogant smugness – that O'Brien really was fond of her. She owed the woman something now surely? Something more than the wage she was paid at any rate.

"I did. I hope you don't mind just this once, but it felt right."

"Of course not m'lady" for one mad moment Cora had been half-convinced that O'Brien was about to call her by her Christian name but afterwards she knew this was foolishness. O'Brien might treat her more personally than most maids did their mistresses, but she wasn't stupid and Cora didn't know how far her indulgence of the younger woman would go. "What was the favour m'lady?"

Cora smiled and squeezed her hand absolutely positive she had the best maid in England.

"I was wondering if you'd mind me, well, me staying here for the night? I've been having difficulty sleeping-"

"I know you have m'lady."

O'Brien laughed once, quiet and low and affectionate rather than mocking and Cora was more fond of her than ever for her reaction.

"And I think I could sleep if I had some company but Robert won't and …there's no one else."

O'Brien was silent for a moment and Cora wondered if her words had sounded as terrible to her maid as they did to her ears in retrospect. _There's no one else_, had meant to mean there was no one else who made her feel half as safe and contented as O'Brien did at the moment, but she could hardly have said all that to her maid. She had a feeling that it might have come across differently to O'Brien though, there's no one else in the house I can go to and you're a last resort.

Cora parted her lips to speak but nothing came from them. She didn't know what on earth she could say anymore – if she upset O'Brien, the single person who didn't make her feel simultaneously guilty and smothered, then she didn't know what she'd do. A small part of her was able to be cold and practical and knew that in a mere few days Rosamund would arrive and Cora could throw herself into Rosamund's lap and cry as she had many times before, but even the thought of her sister-in-law's soothing touch didn't comfort her in the way holding O'Brien's hand did.

"Of course m'lady. Shall-Would you like me to remake the bed for you?"

Cora felt her heart sink into her stomach and she closed her eyes in despair. Could things never be simple? She knew it wasn't O'Brien's fault, the woman had been raised and conditioned by her rank in life to speak like that, to think like that. To think she had to do these things and couldn't simply say yes or no. She wasn't Rosamund and Cora felt a longing for her sister-in-law's simple ease. Why couldn't she have friend that was the best of both of them? But O'Brien only knew exactly what to say because she was her maid, a position Rosamund would never be in, and Rosamund's ease came from her class, something O'Brien could never have.

"No, I wouldn't like that," she laughed slightly, "It'd be cold then."

O'Brien shuffled away from her and this time Cora saw her move her legs to move out of the bed.

"Don't. I have no intention of kicking you out of your own bed."

It occurred to her only now she was too far gone to tell O'Brien she'd changed her mind without possibly offending her, that it would be something of a squeeze in O'Brien's small bed. Cora found she didn't really care though, it was warm and she wouldn't spend half the night devoted to crying over her husband's absence. Instead it would just be the tenderness of her stomach that bothered her.

Cora gestured for O'Brien to get back in which, much to her surprise, she did without argument, leaving a space big enough for Cora's sleight frame. She pulled away the covers and Cora smelt the soap that O'Brien must have used before bed and the warm sheets inhabited by another human being that gave her such sublime comfort. She breathed deeply and gave O'Brien a small smile in the dark and she slipped under the covers and slid down the bed, taking O'Brien's hand once more to pull her down with her. The sheets felt rougher against her exposed skin than anything she had ever lain on in her life and the mattress was much too hard for her liking – O'Brien had never complained about her bed as far as Cora was aware so maybe she found it perfectly fine. Or maybe O'Brien just thought there was no point in complaining. Cora thought it was probably the latter and allowed the warmth of the whole bed to wash over her, making her forget all its other faults.

"O'Brien, if you lie any further away you're going to fall out."

"Sorry m'lady. I thought you'd want me to…I thought you'd prefer the space."

Cora sighed and shuffled herself closer to O'Brien, finding the other woman's arm and curling her hands around it to pull her closer and more securely on the bed.

"Robert thinks the same. Haven't I already told you that you're both wrong?"

It was to O'Brien's credit that she immediately moved closer and reached up to grip the back of Cora's hand.

"I'm not going anywhere m'lady."

Cora was satisfied with this and closed her eyes, curling her body around O'Brien's still warm one. She'd grown chilly walking up here and sitting on the bed and besides which, she hadn't felt properly warm since she'd been in the damned bath, so O'Brien felt like a large, comforting hot water bottle and she wrapped an arm around the woman's stomach, pulling herself close enough to rest her head on O'Brien's half-exposed shoulder.

"You don't mind?"

"Of course not m'lady. You know I'm here as long as you need me."

It was a strange turn of phrase but Cora felt altogether too tired to suss it out. She doubted O'Brien had any intention of leaving – where would she go after all - and that was good enough for Cora. O'Brien must know by now that Cora was never going to give her notice, if she hadn't after the incident in the kitchen, something that seemed to have happened hundreds of years ago now, then she was hardly going to sack her maid _now_. And god what would she do without O'Brien? She was indispensible and if Cora had to double her pay then she would.

As she drifted into a finally restful sleep Cora thought she might just do that.


End file.
